she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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