and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize