I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
