What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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