hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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