I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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