Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
