So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
