I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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