he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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