Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
