Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
