Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
