We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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