that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
