I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
