Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
