Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
