5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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