Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
