Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
