so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
