I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Vodka?
Forever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
