Fuck appropriateness.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize