I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
