thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
