Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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