Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
