he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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