We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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