But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
