he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
