I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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