I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize