I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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