she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
