literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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