I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
