What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
