My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
