But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
