There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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