can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I AM VODKA MAN
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
