What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize