i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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