That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
