If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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