yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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