at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
