She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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