I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just invented taco cereal.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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