I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
