Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
