Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
