I want to make a zoo with you.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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