Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
