PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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