the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
