I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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