According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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