In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
