dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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