Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
