im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
