Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
