If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize