just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
