I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize